Happy Ukrainiversary!

"And indeed there will be time
To wonder, 'Do I dare?' and, 'Do I dare?'
Time to turn back and descend the stair," 

So I keep hanging and rehanging this clothesline in my bathroom. It falls down regardless of how I secure it.  There's really no other place to put it, and it's situated diagonally, running over the toilet and next to the sink, so when I use the bathroom, there is often a wet t-shirt or pair of underwear dripping on my head. If I'm lucky, it remains secure until my clothes are dry—which usually takes between 3 to 5 days, depending on the weather. This week, I did laundry on Saturday. It is now Tuesday night and my clothes are still not dry. Sometimes I use my Peace Corps issued space heater as a makeshift dryer, which may or may not be a fire hazard. But don't worry. I also have a Peace Corps issued fire extinguisher. Vertical integration.

This, like so many things, works as a metaphor, and an obvious one at that: an unreliable, falling clothesline signifies.... blah blah somethingsomething life is unpredictable and frustrating and weird and sometimes gross.

Today marks one year from the day I said goodbye to everything I love, cried all the way to the airport cradling one last kale-banana smoothie à la mom (kind of delicious, kind of upsetting), took a deep breath, and got on the plane. There's something about modes of transportation that help with the finality of change. I sat down and I was ready.

Saying goodbye to my incredible host family!

And it's been challenging in every possible way. But remarkably rewarding.

Overwhelmingly when I talk about what I've learned here, what's burned in my heart is how precious and how short life is. I see my loved ones aging, growing, changing around me, without me—and I ache to be with them.

I often struggle to live in the moment, straddling a line between longing for what I know and relishing the moments here that I will never, ever get back. There's a sadness and a sweetness to all of it, and none of which I can hold onto.

In a desperation to make sense of it, more than anything I try to let it wash over me. To become more loving and compassionate. To be inspired by the life and grace of others.

So that's what I've learned this year.

This is how I teach

TESOL Conference with only the best people. Sevastopol, Crimea

Ukraini27thbirthday

L'viv—with a visit from home:)

Christmas with my dearest friend and colleague, Olena, and her daughter, Anne

You can go home again! Chernihiv! Papa finding the best apples at the top of the tree. 

Family: Babusya, Olya, Yaroslav, Papa, Mama 

Pochyiv: Somehow I got stuck in the super blessing line